The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
