Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
