Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
