I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
