i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
