I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Watching her eat just hurts me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
