Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
