No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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