i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
