i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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