yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
