yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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