I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
