my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
