I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
