I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
