The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
