I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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