I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
