Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
