he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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