I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
