Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
