Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
