We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
