is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
