i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
im calling her cock vulture from now on
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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