Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
