I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
