I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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