glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
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