hell yes lets make some ravioli
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
