Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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