As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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