Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
