Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
