I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize