Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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