just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Randomize
