PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
