just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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