No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
