how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize