I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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