Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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