I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
