cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
