that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
