I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
