Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize