everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
