So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
