Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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