he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
what is it with giant penises always finding me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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