she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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