Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
