If i come over, it means nothing
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.đź’¨
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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