At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
