sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
