You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
