I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
